Scratch that.

He loves to draw. It is a full-blown love affair that has brought him years of joy and many lessons in facing frustration. He has a dragon’s hoard of crayons, markers, pens, and pencils, and–surprisingly, for a kid who’s always in motion–he keeps careful inventory of his collection and selects each tool for the job with laser focus.

We go through a lot of paper.

As I begin writing in earnest after years of kicking around bedtime stories and daydreams, I’m learning as I go. Some of the best lessons I’ve learned, though, haven’t come from a book or a podcast. They’ve come from the budding artist who lives down the hall.

Lesson 1: How do you spend your time?

If I ever need to find my son, the first place I check is the dining room. 7 times out of 10, if he has a quiet moment to himself, he wants to spend it in his chair, next to the art supplies in our dining hutch, working on his latest project.

My days are long and busy in this season of life. But my pockets of free time? When the kids go to bed? Or when I’m making lunches and my mind has time to breathe? I’m learning it’s okay to take space for myself and trying to be purposeful with the limited time I have.

I’m getting into a rhythm of writing more consistently, and I’ve been encouraged that I do have time. I can write. Some friends I’ve met through Patreon set their writing goal at 30 words a day. Ah, the freedom that comes from lowering the bar for yourself! If they write more? Great! But the goal is just to write something, and not let unrealistically lofty goals discourage you from doing something you enjoy. The words will add up. Give it time.

Lesson 2: Indulge a little.

Is it too soon to talk about the pandemic? We don’t usually bring it up in polite conversation, do we? Just a little story, if that’s alright…

It was a day that started out like any other day in 2020. I was pregnant, attempting to work from home on a tight deadline, and trying to keep our toddler fed, safe, happy, quiet…the usual parenting checklist. This particular day, though, would change the course of history for our family. In a moment of desperation, I turned on a movie. It was Disney’s Cars.

We are now a Cars house. I don’t make the rules. Lightning McQueen is an honorary member of the family, along with all his friends and enemies–no matter how small their role in the extended Cars Universe.

My son knows what he loves, and he loves it without reservation.

How many pictures of racecars has he drawn in his life? How many racetracks? How many winners’ podiums? The limit does not exist. It fills him with the purest joy.

So, as I approach writing, I try to keep my focus on the things that light my brain on fire (a tip I learned from Laini Taylor’s Patreon group!) and tune out the noise of what’s popular, what edgy, or what’s expected. There’s a good chance no one will ever see my writing but me, so why not write what’s burning to be written?

And–since we’ve already brought the dreaded p-word into the conversation–it’s worth the reminder that life is short and joy is important. Find what you love and write it with your whole heart.

Lesson 3: Try, try again.

Did I mention my son loves cars? Did you miss it?

He loves cars.

Even though he’s drawn plenty of cars before, he never gets tired of practicing. He often uses books as references to improve his skills and learn how to draw new details, distinguishing one type from another.

Writing is a practice, much like other arts or hobbies. There’s so much you can learn from experimenting and approaching the story from different angles.

Have you heard of Raymond Queneau’s Exercises in Style? It’s a collection of 99 stories–or, rather, one story told 99 times, each version in a different style. Now there’s a man who understood the nerdy satisfaction of dismantling your writing and looking under the hood!

Lesson 4: Use the paper.

And last, but not least, we have to talk about paper.

My son got his very own chunky ream of printer paper for Christmas. It was gone by Valentine’s Day. Paper sitting on the shelf at Target could not ask for a better person to pick it up and take it home. In our house, each sheet lives a full life as it’s used and reused to bring a little boy’s dreams to life.

When making art, your ideas are infinite and the paper is waiting for you. Take notes. Sketch ideas. Brainstorm. Make lists. Tape notecards to the walls. Fill up notebooks with ideas and exercises. Get your brain onto the page and then introduce it to the next page, and the next.

It’s just paper. It’s happy to be used. 🙂

Now…go write!